Friday 8 January 2010

Twenty Years Ago Today...

8 January 1990 was the first day of the rest of my life. After two decades living in Aberdeen I had reached the stage of my life where, as The Stranglers once memorably sang, Something Better Change. Work was a living hell, life was miserable in the Granite City and I was in a depressive state. My life had to change - and it did.

In September 1989, three things happened. Firstly, my second daughter Michaela was born. In a year of despair and negativity, Michaela’s arrival was a shining light. I had not felt so good since Laura’s arrival three years earlier. Secondly, we put our house on the market. The For Sale sign in the garden certainly provoked a reaction from our more than curious neighbours. Why were we selling? Why now with a newborn baby? Where were we going to? I merely smiled and told them they would find out soon enough. Thirdly, I resigned from my job at the bus depot. Officially. In writing. My manager thought he would call my bluff by saying if I were serious about leaving he would quite like to know when so he could arrange a replacement. I suspect he thought I would say I didn’t really wish to resign and would stay. But I turned the tables and told him I would be gone by Christmas.

One of my neighbours who also worked in the same office as me didn’t hesitate to tell the manager as soon as the For Sale sign went up in our garden. If my manager hadn’t taken me entirely seriously up to this point, he was now left with no alternative. He tried to talk me out of leaving, tried to point out the stupidity of my actions - as many other people in Aberdeen tried to do - and wanted me to change my mind. To be fair to him and others, I could see their argument. I was about to resign from a decent paid job without having another one to go to. I was about to sell our house. My wife had just given birth to our second child. And I was about to head one hundred and forty miles south - leaving my family behind.

I could see why people thought I was mad, selfish, and incredibly stupid. But I was determined. We sold our house for not much more than we had paid for it but after paying off the mortgage, we still had the proceeds from the profit of selling our first flat. So we weren’t entirely destitute. We had some money in the bank that I hoped would tide me over until I got another job. I reckoned there would be enough to last six months if need be.

Just after Christmas 1989, I walked out of what would evolve into First Bus for the last time. Never to return. When I woke up the following morning, I felt such a feeling of relief, as if a giant weight had been lifted from my shoulders. This was it - there was no going back. I had broken free. My desperately unhappy job was no more. The house was sold and we would be leaving in a few days. I felt a surge of happiness, despite heading into the unknown, despite knowing I was about to leave my family. My father arrived in Aberdeen in the first week of 1990. He came to pick me up and drive me south to Paisley. A new year, a new decade. A new life.

The following few months would be tough. Very tough. Nevertheless, I knew, in my heart of hearts, that I was doing the right thing. I tell my now grown up daughters that, whatever you do in life, whatever mistakes you make - and we all make them - don’t have any regrets. As I got into my father’s car on Sunday 7 January, I had just two regrets. That I was leaving my wife and the girls behind (something I still feel guilty about more than twenty years on) But the most overpowering feeling was that I hadn’t done this earlier.

It was goodbye to Aberdeen and hello to a new, exciting - and most importantly - happy life. Within three months I had a job and a house in a place I loved and had wanted to move to nearly a decade before. A place that was always in my heart. A place where I felt invigorated, at ease and at peace. That place was Edinburgh. The gamble had paid off. As a family we were back together again. Happier than ever.

It doesn't seem like twenty years since that life-changing move. Today I'm heading back to Aberdeen - for twenty-four hours only. Hearts are due to play a Scottish Cup tie in the Granite City tomorrow (Artic conditions permitting) and I'm meeting an old pal for a couple of half pint shandies this evening before sampling the delights of an overnight stay at Travelodge. In my own wee way I'll toast the events of twenty years ago - and ponder how time has flown by since...

3 comments:

Unknown said...

I am so very glad that things have worked out well for you, and I hope your visit to your old haunts will be a most pleasant experience. I am, however, rather curious about just when did you start acting like Adullamite?

Joanna Jenkins said...

What an incredible story Mike. Far too many people would have stayed stuck in a miserable job and life. You were brave to make that big change and I'm thrilled that it worked out so well for you.

Cheers!
jj

Strawberry Girl said...

Very courageous Mike, just the inspiration I needed today. :)

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