Friday 29 May 2020

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?




I received the email below to my hypnotherapy business account today. I'm about to receive nearly $18m. What could possibly go wrong...?

Greetings My Dear Friend,

Before I introduce myself, I wish to inform you that this letter is not a hoax mail and I urge you to treat it serious. This letter must come to you as a big surprise, but I believe it is only a day that people meet and become great friends and business partners. Please I want you to read this letter very carefully and I must apologize for barging this message into your mail box without any formal introduction due to the urgency and confidentiality of this business and I know that this message will come to you as a surprise.
Please this is not a joke and I will not like you to joke with it ok. With due respect to your person and much sincerity of purpose, I make this contact with you as I believe that you can be of great assistance to me. My name is Mr. Azmat Foufana, from Burkina Faso, West Africa. I work with BIB BANK (BIB BANK) as telex manager, please see this as a confidential message and do not reveal it to another person and let me know whether you can be of assistance regarding my proposal below because, I am about to retire from active Banking service to start a new life but I am skeptical to reveal this particular secret to a stranger. You must assure me that everything will be handled confidentially because we are not going to suffer again in life.
It has been 10 years now that most of the greedy African Politicians used our bank to launder money overseas through the help of their Political advisers. Most of the funds which they transferred out of the shores of Africa were gold and oil money that was supposed to have been used to develop the continent. Their Political advisers always inflated the amounts before transferring to foreign accounts, so I also used the opportunity to divert part of the funds hence I am aware that there is no official trace of how much was transferred as all the accounts used for such transfers were being closed after transfer, I acted as the Bank Officer to most of the politicians and when I discovered that they were using me to succeed in their greedy act; I also cleaned some before I send this message to you, I have already diverted ($29.6million Dollars) to an escrow account belonging to no one in the bank.
The bank is anxious now to know who the beneficiary to the funds is because they have made a lot of profits with the funds. It is more than Eight years now and most of the politicians are no longer using our bank to transfer funds overseas. The ($29.6million Dollars) has been laying waste in our bank and I don’t want to retire from the bank without transferring the funds to a foreign account to enable me share the proceeds with the receiver (a foreigner). The money will be shared 60% for me and 40% for you, There is no one coming to ask you about the funds because I secured everything, I only want you to assist me by providing a reliable bank account where the funds can be transferred.
You are not to face any difficulties or legal implications as I am going to handle the transfer personally. If you are capable of receiving the funds, do let me know immediately to enable me give you a detailed information on what to do. For me, I have not stolen the money from anyone because the other people that took the whole money did not face any problems, this is my chance to grab my own life opportunity but you must keep the details of the funds secret to avoid any leakages as no one in the bank knows about my plans.
Please get back to me if you are interested and capable to handle this project, I shall intimate you on what to do when I hear from your confirmation and acceptance. If you are capable of being my trusted associate, do declare your consent to me I am looking forward to hear from you immediately for further information: mr.azmat101@gmail.com
Thanks with my best regards.
Mr. Azmat Foufana.

Wednesday 27 May 2020

Lockdown in Edinburgh - A Sunny Mid-Morning

The usually bustling Royal Mile

A deserted Princes Street

Waverley Bridge - not a tourist bus in sight

Saturday 16 May 2020

Albums of Influence - Part Three

You done too much, much too young, you're married with a kid when you should be having fun...


I don't give two f**ks about your review

Friday 8 May 2020

Albums of Influence - Part Two

Includes the brilliant Everyone Thinks He Looks Daft - a song Marion wanted played at our wedding...First saw The Wedding Present play live in Aberdeen in the late 1980s. It was an unforgettable experience. 


The sublime Pete Wylie and the soundtrack to my early twenties. The Story of the Blues - Part Two - is one of the finest social commentaries ever written.

Sunday 3 May 2020

Happy Birthday, Jack


Happy 15th birthday to grandson Jack who, even if I say so myself, is turning out a fine young man who is ambitious with a clear view of what he wants to achieve in life. I've no doubt whatsoever that he will achieve his aims.

That said, the present lockdown as a result of COVID-19 appears to have affected his thoughts process looking at his new hair colour. Baby brother Daniel seems less than impressed...

Saturday 2 May 2020

Albums of Influence - Part One


I Fought The Law and London Calling - songs that have been repeatedly played on my record player/cassette player/CD player/MP3 player over the years...



Teenage Kicks and My Perfect Cousin - songs that have been....(you get the picture)

Back to School 2022

  A wee bit late with this but the little people have returned to school for another term. Except some of them aren't little any more. A...