Hilda Ogden and the Google Search

Earlier today I was updating my football blog - http://www.ontheterracing.blogspot.com/ - and thought I would try and search for a new photograph for the banner heading. The best web search engine - so I've been told - is Google so I entered the words 'Scottish football in the 1970s' and clicked on the image icon on my computer toolbar. I waited for hundreds of images of Scottish footballing icons of three decades and more ago  - but some of the results were rather perplexing.

In no particular order, alongside the likes of Graeme Souness, Kenny Dalglish and Denis Law were:

Alf Ramsay - that Scottish football icon
Gordon Brown (a long haired Brown from the early 1970s)
Jimmy Reid, Trade Union leader who sadly recently passed away
Daybreak presenter Lorraine Kelly
Bart Simpson in a Rangers top
German legends Franz Beckenbauer and Gerd Muller
A team photograph of Elgin City - from 1936
Richard Branson in a swimming costume
Hilda Ogden (a former soap star in the UK)
Penelope Keith
Elliot Gould
John Cleese as Basil Fawlty
Tony Curtis (God rest his soul) and Roger Moore as television's The Persuaders
and, perhaps  most disturbingly of all, porn star Linda Lovelace (I had to find out who this person was - honestly, mother...)

Interestingly, alongside a photo of an Aberdeen player who was a hero of the 1970 Scottish Cup Final - Derek 'Cup-tie' Mackay - was a black and white photo of a Soviet Union nuclear warhead.

Now, I find Google a useful tool for research purposes. But when I type in the words Scottish and football I don't expect to come across Hilda Ogden and Penelope Keith. Yes, they were stars in the 1970s - but I can't recall them performing at Tynecastle...

It may well just be me, of course. When I typed in 'Scottish heroes' I got a photo of Clint Eastwood and Donald Sutherland - Google had ignored the Scottish bit and gone for an image from the film Kelly's Heroes.

The next time I think I'll try and outsmart Google by typing in the word Morrissey i.e. the ex lead singer of The Smiths. One of his famous lyrics went 'please, please, please let me get what I want - this time...'

Born to be Idle

Glasgow is the "laziest city in the UK" according to the findings of a national health poll.Researchers questioned 2,049 people during May for the not-for-profit organisation, Nuffield Health. About 75% of Glaswegians who responded* admitted they failed to exercise at least three times a week. This figure was 67% for people from Birmingham and Southampton, with London just behind on 66%, Bristol on 64% and Leeds and Newcastle on 62%. The survey also suggested that some Britons were so lazy they would rather watch a television programme they do not like than get out of their chair to change channels.

From the BBC News Website

What a sad reflection on today's society. But, sadly, an accurate one. We live in an ever increasing 'instant' society. Instant meals, instant communication, instant access to information. Time was when one had a sense of achievement when scouring an encyclopedia for information on a topic which added to your educational prowess. Now you can simply type words into 'Google' and the answer is before your very eyes within seconds.

The art of letter writing seems to be a dying art too. Years ago, I used to correspond with a friend in Newcastle Upon Tyne by letter. Yes, dear reader, letter. We used to communicate regularly, not by e-mail or text but by taking the time and effort to sit down and write before taking our chances in the hope that Royal Mail would actually deliver it (which they did on occasion) And we both appreciated the effort each of us put in.

Cooking a decent, nutritious meal used to be a pleasure too. (well, apart from some of my culinary disasters although I do prepare a mean cheese sauce) Now, more and more people come home from their inevitably stress-filled day at work (who isn't stressed at work these days?) stick a frozen ready-made meal into the microwave oven and eat it slouched on the couch in front of the television watching inane commercial-riddled tosh on a wide screen. And what do they eventually do with their dirty plates? (assuming they've bothered to use plates and aren't eating direct from the package) Stick 'em in the dish washer.

The particularly alarming paragraph in the above BBC news story was regarding people not getting out of their chair to change television channels. Alarming, because I watched Scotland's footballers give a pitiful performance in Norway tonight in a World Cup qualifying tie. Well, I lasted until half-time by which time Scotland were two goals down and had a player sent off. At that I switched the television off and went and did something more interesting instead. Like watching paint dry.

However, I thought of those pour souls in Glasgow, stuck on the couch, forced to watch the whole ninety minutes - because the remote control was an agonising few feet away...

*the other 25% couldn't be bothered to answer...

So I Did a Google Search and...