The Old Squirm

"We are restricted by playing in Scotland, we compete with Celtic. Hearts split us one year and, early in my tenure, Celtic weren't always second but really, it is a bit of a foregone conclusion most of the time. That does not make the menu as interesting as it could be. But there is no sign of the English route opening up for us. Why do they need us? The bottom clubs are like turkeys, they won't vote for Christmas."

Quote from Rangers chairman David Murray in The Scotsman last Friday.

Personally, I would be delighted if both Celtic and Rangers scarpered off to England. Next Saturday lunchtime Hearts 'entertain' - if that's the right word - Rangers at Tynecastle. As happened three weeks ago when the other half of Glasgow's gruesome twosome came to Gorgie, there's little doubt the travelling support will subject us sectarian chants. When Rangers come, doubltess there will be never-ending songs about three hundred year old battles, famine and being up to their knees in blood. When Celtic were in Gorgie there were songs glorifying joining an Irish terrorist organisation.

Celtic and Rangers have dominated Scottish football for the best part of 130 years. Occasionally their dominance is broken - Hearts and Hibs in the 1950s, Aberdeen and Dundee United in the 1980s - but for the most part Scottish football's silverware ends up in Glasgow. They are the two biggest clubs in Scotland with the largest followings so it's only to be expected. What is unpalatable for any fair-minded football fan is the sectarian bile which emanates from some of their supporters. Even in a 21st century devolved Scotland, even with the likes of David Murray and his Celtic counterpart John Reid condemning such behaviour and insisting their respective clubs are doing all they can to stamp it out, such offensive behaviour is still very much part of the make-up of the Old Firm followers.

I haven't been to Celtic Park since Hearts won the Scottish Cup there in 1998 and I haven't been to Ibrox since 1999 when a Rangers fan visually abused my daughter by dropping his trousers - this happened inside Ibrox and when I complained to a nearby police officer I was laughed at and told if I wasn't happy I should leave. But I believe that Celtic still play The Fields of Athenry at Celtic Park and Rangers bellow out the 'clean' version of Follow Follow at Ibrox. Doubtless all part of the club's determination to stamp out sectarianism...

David Murray's moan that the SPL is a foregone conclusion most of the time therefore not making the menu as interesting as it could be begs me to ask Mr Chairman if he's having a laugh. He quite rightly says Hearts did split the Old Firm in 2006. But when that occurs, as has happened when the likes of Dundee United, Aberdeen and, dare I say it, Hibernian have the makings of a team that can challenge for honours, the Old Firm simply buy the best players. Hearts lost Steven Pressley and Paul Hartley of the 2006 team to Celtic. Derek Riordan couldn't stop scoring for Hibs so Celtic simply bought him and stuck him in the reserves for two years. They also bought Scott McDonald from Motherwell, Mark Wilson from Dundee United, Gary Caldwell, Scott Brown and Chris Killen from Hibernian and Barry Robson from Dundee United. Rangers squad includes Kris Boyd and Steven Naismith bought from Kilmarnock, Kirk Broadfoot from St. Mirren, Steven Whittaker and Kevin Thomson from Hibernian and Alan McGregor from Dunfermline.

So, Mr Murray, why is it there is little competition in the SPL for you and your Glasgow neighbours? Perhaps the Old Firm should reflect that it's being so successful in Scotland that has made their clubs what they are. Any move to the English Premiership would see the the pair of them struggle to obtain mid-table mediocrity. How long would their supporters put up with such lack of success? In any case, I strongly suspect clubs in England wouldn't care to have the sectarian nonsense of the Old Firm supporters on their doorstep on a regular basis.

Some of David Murray's comments are self-righteous and, frankly, an insult to the rest of Scottish football. If only the Old Squirm would pack their bags and head off elsewhere and leave the rest of Scottish football in peace - quite literally...