The Other Side of the World From Edinburgh...

...is Glasgow. If you go the wrong way.

I had a day away from the coalface that is Human Resources in order that I could travel through to The Mitchell Library in Glasgow. This is an impressive building and the staff there were very helpful in assisting me with research I needed to do in relation to the book I am writing - Hearts Greatest Games (yes, there will be many plugs for this between now and next summer...)

After sampling the delights of a full Scottish breakfast in Auld Reekie, I boarded the 9.45am train to Glasgow. I wasn't sure where The Mitchell Library was so I checked their excellent website and the informative 'how to get there' section advised me that several First Buses - including a number 9 -  pass by. That was my first note of concern - my reader is well aware of my feelings on First Group.

Standing near Glasgow Central station, a First Bus number 9 approached so I asked the driver if he went past The Mitchell Library.

'Whit?' he asked incredulously, 'Ah'm no going past there. That's at Charing Cross. You need another bus, pal'

'Really?' I asked, somewhat puzzled as to why TML website said a number 9 bus passed by. 'So, my good man, what bus should I get?'

'Ye need a 44 - next street alang and up the road'

I heeded his less than helpful directions and ran to catch said First Bus number 44 in the next street.

'Do you go past The Mitchell Library?' I asked, somewhat short of breath.

'Aye!' replied the driver before adding 'Naw! Well, sort of!'

'Well,' I asked somewhat irritably, 'which of these three answers is it to be?'

'Ah dinnae go past it', the driver continued. 'Ah ging roon it, doon the street opposite'

'Okay, my good man, that will do'

An hour or so later I left The Mitchell Library armed with the material I had came for. As I did, a First Bus number 9 whizzed past. Initially I thought this contradicted the first bus driver I had encountered but soon realised what he meant when he said he didn't go past TML was that he was going the opposite direction - having already come from there. Good to see Worst Group are employing the same standards of service in Glasgow as they do in Edinburgh and the Lothians.

I end this tale on a curious note. Before heading for the train home I went into a pub called The Counting House in Glasgow's Buchanan Street for a swift pint. This pub has free wi-fi access so I duly registered and surfed the net on my ITouch, posting on Twitter (@Mike1874 if anyone cares) that I was in said pub. Half an hour later I received an email notification from Twitter saying Princes Square Restaurants in Glasgow is now following me on Twitter. Princes Square are based in Glasgow's Buchanan street - a short walk from the pub I was in.

The power of the internet? Or just a coincidence?

Worst Group Rant No. 94 (change at Dalkeith)

BBC photo

Princess Anne was in Aberdeen today opening the new First Bus depot in the Granite City. I do believe that's my old boss in the photograph above - the one in the suit. It's nearly 21 years since I worked there and a lot of water has flowed under various bridges since then. I wonder, however, if Princess Anne had travelled to Aberdeen by one of First Group's infamous trains. Probably not.

I have blogged here several times about 'Worst Group' and their notorious bus services in Edinburgh. I now use Lothian Buses although I have, on occasion, dared to take a First Bus service from Dalkeith to Auld Reekie. Here was the timetable for such a journey the other week:

07.40 Service 86 due to leave Mayfield terminus

07.43 Driving sitting at said terminus finishing the sudoku puzzle in the Metro newspaper

07.46 Service 86 departs...

07.50 First rude comment to passenger who dared to complain the bus was late

07.51 First swear word from driver

07.55 Due at Dalkeith town centre

08.05 Arrives Dalkeith town centre

08.10 Woman with child in buggy can't get on as the 20 year old bus does not have a facility for the buggy.

08.11 Driver advises woman 'there'll be another bus along in a few minutes' Translated that means 'tough luck, dearie...'

08.15 Bus breaks down at Sheriffhall Park and Ride

08.16 Second swear word from driver

08.17 Second rude comment to passenger who dared to complain

08.18 Third swear word from driver.

08.20 Driver makes radio contact with bus depot

08.23 Depot replies - don't expect a replacement bus until a week on Tuesday

08.24 Fourth swear word from driver

08.25 Several swear words from irate passengers who leave the bus.

08.27 Said passengers board Lothian bus service number 49 and head into Edinburgh city centre

08.28 Fifth swear word from driver

14.00 Worst Group announce passenger numbers on their Edinburgh bus services drop dramatically...

Some things never change....

Worst Group Rant No.94a

I read in the news the other day that First Group were announced as preferred bidder for the provision of direct coaches, park and ride services and venue shuttle services for spectators to the London 2012 Games.

Those who frequent my rants on a regular basis (Mrs Trellis from North Wales...) may be aware of my feelings about Worst Group. I gave up on their woeful bus services in Edinburgh some time ago. I now use Lothian Buses and can't help smirking on many mornings as I board an on-time warm, modern, Lothian Bus, leaving poor frustrated First Bus passengers at the stop still waiting for their old, noisy and battered old bus which should have arrived five minutes earlier.

Sadly, the majority of train services in Scotland are run by Scotrail - which is operated by Worst Group. This Saturday many Scotrail staff have opted for strike action. However, the company have said they hope to run nine out of ten trains. My plans for Saturday include heading to Larbert to watch the mighty East Stirlingshire so I emailed the Scotrail website last Sunday to ask if the Edinburgh-Dunblane service - which runs through Larbert - would be running. By Wednesday there was no reply from their 'customer services' department so I used an old fashioned method - and phoned instead. A somewhat harassed Scotrail employee told me the service would be running as usual on Saturday.

Yesterday, I finally received an email from Scotrail - three days later. This acknowledged my email and my plan to travel from Edinburgh to, er, Perth. It further advised that there would be few trains going to Perth that day and advised against making the journey. Subsequently, I will turn up at Edinburgh's Waverley Station on Saturday lunch time not knowing if I'll get a train to Larbert or not.

If anyone is looking to use Worst Group's Olympic services in London two years from now, may I suggest you set off quite soon to avoid disappointment. Or, if you really want to avoid disappointment, use Shanks's Pony...

Real Time

Ambling my way through Edinburgh's near deserted Cameron Toll Shopping Centre at 8.40 this morning, contemplating another fun-filled day at the office, I looked up at the rather impressive electronic board above the exit. This technological wizardry listed all the Lothian buses serving the shopping centre, where to get them and how long they would be (I can hear the smart-arses among you saying 'about twelve feet')

Impressed though I was with this information, there was one service which has a little asterisk next to it with the disclaimer 'this is not a real time bus'.

I contemplated that statement for a moment. What did they mean by that, I wondered? Had Edinburgh been taken over by aliens overnight and we were now travelling back in time? As we commemorate the 70th year since the outbreak of World War Two, were we heading back to the times of the blitz? Or further back to a period when Hibernian last won the Scottish Cup? Or even further back to when Adullamite was a child? Was this bus a figment of imagination? Would it ever appear in real life? Then it struck me (the answer, not the bus)

Edinburgh's Lothian Buses operate a bus tracker system where you can see an electronic display at many bus stops in the city centre which advises how long the next service will be. The bus that 'wasn't a real time bus' must have been an older vehicle that did not have the technology fitted. Therefore, one would have to resort to old fashioned methods and consult the timetable. I should point out that only Lothian Buses use this technology as they appear to put the needs of their passengers above all else. Worst Group (Rants passim) don't bother with such ethos although it's rumoured they are replacing their timetables with a calendar...

However, it got me thinking about the proposed high speed rail link between Edinburgh/Glasgow and London which was announced last week. With trains travelling at 200 miles per hour it's envisaged the journey times between Scotland and the old smoke will be cut to little over two and a half hours - by the year 2030...

I harbour suspicions that - particularly if Worst Group are given the franchise - will never be a real time train...

Worst Group - An Apology

Not from me - from them. First Bus has apologised to its passengers for a "significant number" of delays caused by roadworks. The company said the problems were being caused by an extensive programme of roadworks. All First services from East Lothian, Midlothian, West Lothian, the Borders and Queensferry are affected, they said.

Here's the bit that made me laugh:

"Therefore, it is important that we advise our passengers that they may need to alter their travel arrangements to take account of the impact these external factors are having on our ability to deliver the regular, fast and efficient services our customers expect - and deserve."

Here's my message to Sir Moir Lockhead - I already have altered my travel arrangements. I now use Lothian Buses instead.

Life on Mars?

Martian soil appears to contain sufficient nutrients to support life - or, at least, asparagus - Nasa scientists believe. Preliminary analysis by the $420m (£210m) Phoenix Mars Lander mission on the planet's soil found it to be much more alkaline than expected. Scientists working on the spacecraft project said they were "flabbergasted" by the discovery.

The find has raised hopes conditions on Mars may be favourable for life.

From the BBC News Website

So if NASA, or whoever, built a rocket that could carry humans to Mars - but only one way - who would you like to see on that rocket? I can think of a few names instantly:

Robert Mugabe
George W Bush
Vladimir Romanov (although he would want to pick who went on the rocket)
Margaret Thatcher
Jonathan Ross
Amy Winehouse

The list could go on and on. Above all, what I would ensure is that the rocket isn't flown by someone from Worst Group (Rants passim) There would be a distinct chance it wouldn't even get off the ground...