That's What Friends Are For

Friday night, last orders at the pub, get in the car and head for the club....Jeez, I'm delving into another Lilly Allen track...

I was out sampling the delights of Friday night in the centre of Scotland's magnificent capital city. Good company, good food and several shots of Jack Daniels made for a hugely enjoyable evening.

I saw someone who I hadn't seen for about a year. She has had a difficult year, having to deal with a close family bereavement, work issues and other problems. The last time I saw her she seemed to be struggling with the burden of it all and, I have to say, few could blame her. Last night she looked so much better; we're old work colleagues although we went our separate ways about four years ago. Rather shamefully, I haven't been in contact with her for nearly a year and I apologised profusely for my lack of sensitivity. But within minutes we had resumed normal service; the banter, the mickey-taking, trading mock insults - more importantly, the laughter had returned.

It was good to see her looking so well. I know it's a difficult journey for her and there remain significant obstacles ahead for her to overcome. But with the help of her friends and the people who care about her, I have no doubts she will get there. After all, that's what real friends are for.

Moreover, in what has been a somewhat perplexing week for me, she reminded me what true friendship is all about. For that, I'm truly grateful.

A True Friend

People come into our lives and walk with us a mile, and then because of circumstance they only stay a while. They serve a need within the days that move so quickly by, and then are gone beyond our reach, we often wonder why. God only knows the reason that we meet and share a smile, why people come into our lives and walk with us a mile.

But a true friend walks in when the whole world walks out...

Thank You For Being a Friend...

Are you tired of those weak 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Here are a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cute little smiley faces here - this is a Scottish blog after all. Just the stone cold truth of a great friendship..

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get pissed and plot revenge against the bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will take the piss out of you every chance I get until you're NOT.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you stories about how much worse it could be until YOU STOP WHINING!

6. When you are confused -- I will try to use only little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall, I will laugh at you, you clumsy arse, but I'll help you up.

9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask;
Because you are my friend.

Send this to ten of your closest friends - then get depressed because you can only think of four... .

Being There

Times are tough for a lot of people these days. The economic downturn - this appears to be the new phrase for recession - is having an impact in many ways and, working as I do in the field of Human Resources, never a day passes without at least one person on the phone pleading for work, desperate to earn some money. Of course, there are people who were struggling with life before the bottom fell out of the financial world and this merely adds to their woes. But there is something to cling on to when you think you have been cast afloat from life and are drowning in the sea of despair. And it costs nothing. I'm talking about friendship.

I was out on Friday evening for a few drinks and something to eat - and another few drinks - and spent the evening in the company of someone who has gone through a particularly difficult time recently, both professionally and personally. Her mother passed away quite suddenly and unexpectedly last October and, naturally, this left her devastated. I know from personal experience the effect the sudden death of someone you love can have and the aftermath of trying to cope. My friend appears to have received little support from her place of work and at one time I know she was seriously considering the ultimate means of ending her misery. Thankfully, she decided against this option. We met a few weeks ago and simply by being with her I hoped she would realise there are people who really care about her. She cut a forlorn figure back then and I tried to give her as much support as I could although it was difficult to know what to do or say to help. But just being there is often enough.

On Friday we met again. Now the Scots psyche can be a curious one. The phrase 'Taking the Michael' could well have originated in Scotland given our penchant for sarcasm, putting people down and what we term 'friendly banter'. It helps if you don't have a thick skin and aren't offended easily. Thus, on Friday, it was very near normal service resumed as my friend and I traded mock insults and put each other down at nearly every opportunity. But we loved it. It has been a long time since I have seen her laugh as much. Indeed, it has been a long time since I laughed as much myself, what with dark clouds seeming to hover over me of late. In reality my problems pale into insignificance compare to those of some other people I know. For a few hours we almost forgot about our worries. Admittedly one or two 'nippy sweeties' helped in this respect but we both thoroughly enjoyed ourselves - Friday night simply flew by.

It was great to see her getting back to her old self. Of course she still hurts like hell and she will never fully get over such devastation. But, in time, she will learn to cope. With the help of her friends I'm hopeful she will. If Friday night is anything to go by she's already on the path to realising life is precious and she is loved very much.

Sometimes you just need someone to tell you that.

Being a Friend

Thank you for being a friend
Travelled down a road and back again
Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant
I'm not ashamed to say
I hope it always will stay this way
My hat is off, won't you stand up and take a bow

Andrew Gold had a hit with that song many moons ago and, yes, it's one of the more cheesy ditties around. He also had a hit with Lonely Boy so I suspect he was trying to tell us something...

But in an increasingly busy and, it has to be said as the world's economy collapses like a deck of cards, despondent life, the importance of friendship can not be underestimated. The definition of friendship would appear to be changing in this technological age. In years gone by people would grow up together as schoolfriends, neighbours, colleagues and be physically there to provide support during times of trouble and to share happiness when joyful times came. Now the world is a much smaller place and friendship doesn't have to mean actually being there in person - the age of the internet, e-mail and mobile phone can bring someone hundreds, even thousands of miles away close to you. And that person can share your inner thoughts and feelings and give support even from afar.

I'm no different from anyone else in that I've got to know many people over the years. A good many of them have came into my life and enhanced it but have drifted away again. True friends, however, keep in touch, keep in regular contact. They ask how you are, they ask how your family is, they take a genuine interest in what you're up to. They do so because they care - and I care about them. These are the people who mean most to me, the ones who if they disappeared from my life for whatever reason would leave an empty space that may never be filled.

And to those people, my pals, my confidants, I'm aware I don't say it as often as I should. But - thank you for being a friend.