The A-Z of Not Being Very Well...

A's for arthritis;

B's the bad back,

C is the chest pains, perhaps cardiac?

D is for dental decay and decline,

E is for eyesight, can't read that top line

F is for fissures and fluid retention,

G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.

H high blood pressure-I'd rather it low;

I for incisions with scars you can show.

J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,

K is for knees that crack when they bend.

L's for libido, what happened to sex?

M is for memory, I forget what comes next.

N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;

O is for osteo, bones that don't grow
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,

just give me a pill and I'll be good as new

Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?

R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,

T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears

U is for urinary; troubles with flow;

V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.

W for worry, now what's going round?

X is for X ray and what might be found.

Y for another year I'm left here behind,

Z is for zest I still have-in my mind.


I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed and I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed...

Happy Birthday Laura

My elder daughter is 24 years old today. I still remember the day she was born as if it were yesterday - now she has three children of her own, the latest addition arriving less than a week ago.

Have a great day, darling.

Got it Taped

Technology has advanced so much in recent years it can be hard for old fogies like me to keep up. IPods, MP3s, MP4s, multi-media tablets, Bluetooth, Internet, Intranet - it's easy to get lost in a world of must have gadgetry. As I hurtle towards the half-century of my life, occasionally I hark back to more simpler times when email was something someone from Yorkshire would greet the postman with and high-definition television meant turning the contrast button on a black and white set...

Clearing stuff out from the loft the other week, there was - among the plethora of dust covered junk that I just couldn't bear to throw out - a large cardboard box full of cassette tapes. Most people under the age of twenty-five years will not have a clue what I'm talking about (okay, I know that can be said for the majority of my ramblings on this site but that's another matter) There were dozens of tapes covered in enough dust to threaten airspace in the skies above Edinburgh. Some dated back to the mid 1970s when I was but a teenager. Back then there were no MP3 players, the Internet was something American scientists spoke about and the term download hadn't been invented yet.

The tapes contained music I had taped from the radio in my formative youth. The 1970s version of 'downloading music' involved setting up a small cassette tape recorder next to a transistor radio in my bedroom and recording music  - I use the term loosely for that decade - from the sometimes crackly sound of 'Wonderful Radio One' on the 247 frequency. Sunday evenings between 6.00pm and 7.00pm was when the Top 40 was played on Radio One. This was best time to record the best selling hits of the day although as Radio One joined Radio Two once the show was over - no 24 hour pop music then, younger reader - you ran the risk of recording Sing Something Simple immediately after. However, this was eminently cheaper than buying records - large black vinyl round things, young 'uns - although the downside was you had to try and cut out the inane cackle of disc-jockeys such as Tony Blackburn, Dave Lee Travis and Noel Edmonds (three decades and more later I'm still trying to avoid the smug bearded one on television)

I pored over the tapes and my mind drifted back to simpler times, growing up in Aberdeen, falling in love for the first time and leaving school to begin my first job. I realised, to my considerable anguish, that I no longer had anything to play these tapes on. It looked like their contents would be lost forever - until I saw something advertised on the Radio Times magazine's Home Shopping catalogue.

There, among the cheap garden ornaments, carpet cleaners and miniature ovens was something called a T2-MP3 hand held converter/player. It looked like an early version of a Sony Walkman, the cassette playing contraption that you could actually walk about with (hence the name - smart, eh?) that came out decades ago and was the forerunner of today's MP3 players. Not only does it play cassettes  but the converter - as its name implied - actually converts tapes into MP3 format which, in turn, allows you to play them on an IPod.

For less than £20 it was too good an offer to resist and my small but perfectly formed package - I can hear your innuendo from here - arrived the other day. I have made a start on the mammoth task of transferring my old tapes to MP3 format and expect to complete this task by the time baby Ava leaves school...

Regular readers of this blog  - Mrs Trevis of North Wales - will already know that I'm a sad old geek. Something to which my daughters will readily testify. If you see a fella wandering the streets of Edinburgh, headphones plugged in, smiling inanely, there's a fair chance it will be me listening once more to the 'happy, happy sound of Radio One' and music from decades gone by. Do what you can to help. Call the Care in the Community helpline without delay...

Women - A Formula

Thanks to my good friend Peggy for this!

When a Child is Born - Part 2 (well, 3 actually...)

My third grandchild - Ava - was born at 5.18pm on Tuesday 11 May 2010 at Edinburgh's Royal Infirmary. She is - like her big sister Hannah and her even bigger brother Jack - a little diamond. Then again, I'm biased...! I thank my daughter Laura and her partner Nicol for bringing another little bundle of joy into my life. I am proud of each and every one of them...

And Now The End is Near...

...and so Gordon Brown, the unelected Prime Minister of Britain faces his final curtain. At 10.00pm on Thursday the polls will close on the UK general election  - and I strongly suspect it will be the end of the line for Brown. If - or should that be when - it happens little time will pass before the Labour Party will be holding a leadership election of their own. Brown will be shown the door and, having seen the impact of David Cameron on the Conservatives and Nick Clegg on the Liberal Democrats, the smart money will be on a younger, more media savvy person to lead the party. Andy Burnham? David Miliband? Ed Miliband Or how about Glenn Miliband? (he's not been seen for years though....)

What all this will mean, however, is the near certainty the Tories will return to power in the UK for the first time in thirteen years. Even if they have to rely on sharing some of that power with the Liberal Democrats. Scots remember all too well what happened the last time the Conservative Party was in government - Margaret Thatcher tried her damnest to destroy Scotland.

It may prove significant, however. Few people in Scotland want more years of Tory rule. If David Cameron is elected as Prime Minister on Friday the impact may well start the final push towards independence for our country.

Every cloud and all that...

Happy Birthday Jack the Lad

It's hard to believe my grandson is five years old today. Just a few more years before he's taking his Papa to the pub and buying him a pint. It's a Scots tradition you know....