Cumbernauld Love Song

This is a belter of a song from Carolyn McGoldrick, a hugely talented Scots singer/songwriter. Carolyn and I both moved to Cumbernauld as children - although not at the same I hasten to add - and we both love the New Town despite its rather unfair reputation. For those who are not so familiar with the town, Cumbernauld is just outside Glasgow and was the setting for the film Gregory's Girl.

This song is called Cumbernauld Love Song and although it's been out for over a year now, it deserves to be a hit. Rather like the lovely Carolyn herself!

How Can I Tell You?

A regular visitor to my blog, the lovely Lizzy from the Highlands, told me yesterday that she received some bad news - the passing of a loved one. My thoughts are with her at this very sad time. Listening to the radio this morning there was a song playing that I haven't heard for some time. How Can I Tell You was written by Yusuf Islam and is one of the most beautiful songs ever written. As I listened carefully to the the lyrics not only was I thinking about Lizzy's loss but also my daughter Michaela and how these words will mean so very much to her fourteen months on.


How can I tell you that I love you, I love you
but I can't think of right words to say
I long to tell you that I'm always thinking of you
I'm always thinking of you, but my words
just blow away, just blow away

It always ends up to one thing, honey
and I can't think of right words to say
Wherever I am girl, I'm always walking with you
I'm always walking with you, but I look and you're not there

Whoever I'm with, I'm always, always talking to you
I'm always talking to you, and I'm sad that
you can't hear, sad that you can't hear

It always ends up to one thing, honey,
when I look and you're not there

I need to know you, need to feel my arms around you
feel my arms surround you, like a sea around a shore
and each night and day I pray, in hope
that I might find you, in hope that I might
find you, because heart's can do no more

It always ends up to one thing honey, still I kneel upon the floor
How can I tell you that I love you, I love you
but I can't think of right words to say
I long to tell you that I'm always thinking of you
I'm always thinking of you....

It always ends up to one thing honey
and I can't think of right words to say

Massacre in Cumbria

Twelve people have been killed by a gunman who went on the rampage across Cumbria in north-west England. Taxi driver Derrick Bird shot dead a colleague in the town of Whitehaven before driving through the countryside apparently targeting people at random. Twenty-five others have been injured, three critically. Police say they are dealing with 30 separate crime scenes. Mr Bird's body was found in a wooded area in Boot in the Lake District and two weapons have been recovered.
 Stuart Hyde, Cumbria Police's Deputy Chief Constable, said: "We are still at a very early stage in our investigation and we are not able to really understand the motivation behind it - or establish whether this was a premeditated or random attack. Current indications are that 12 people have died, plus Derrick Bird. And a number of people are also receiving treatment in hospital."

From the BBC News website

This shocking incident happened in the north-west of England earlier today. Those who perished at the hands - or weapon - of Mr Bird did nothing wrong. They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. A time when a man, for inexplicable reasons known only to himself, chose not only to end his own life but that of eleven other innocent people. It may well be the death toll will rise.

It brought back horrific memories of what gunman Thomas Hamilton did in the Scots town of Dunblane fourteen years ago. Why anyone would choose to cause such carnage and inflict untold grief and misery on others is beyond any sane person. One can only assume that Bird, like Hamilton before him, became insane. I can only try to imagine what those who have lost their loved ones must be going through. I suspect right now they'll be numb with shock.

My thoughts are with them tonight.

Medical Notes

I am led to believe these are sentences typed by medical secretaries in NHS Hospitals in Greater Glasgow. I found numbers 21 and 26 particularly amusing...


1. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.

3. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.

7.. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status:- Alive, but without my permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in casualty, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for physical therapy.

20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

21 Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. Skin: somewhat pale, but present.

24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

26. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

27. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

28. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed.

29. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

30. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

31. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

32. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.

33. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

English Mars Bars...and Scottish Mars Bars

Scots aren't quite supporting the makers of Mars Bars idea of getting behind England in the World Cup...

School's Out

Regular visitors to my ramblings will perhaps realise my opinion of Midlothian Council is not very high. Local government bureaucracy is something that affects many councils and having worked for Midlothian's local authority a few years ago, I know it's rife in the Big Pink Hoose in Dalkeith - otherwise known as the Council Headquarters.

My grandson Jack turned five years old earlier this month and will attend primary school for the first time in August (after the teaching profession enjoys its customary six week summer break) For the past year he has been attending a nursery school in the centre of Dalkeith which has the primary school attached - and where the progression of nursery children to primary school is made seamless. He has made a few friends at this nursery, the teachers say he's doing very well and - most important - he loves it there. So, no problem come August when Jack and his pals make the first of many big steps in childhood - going to primary school. No problem until the council bureaucrats stepped in...

Midlothian Council have reviewed the catchment areas of eight primary schools in the area. You can perhaps guess what's coming, dear reader - Jack is one of those children affected. His mother received a letter today advising that Jack will need to go to another primary school than the one previously advised - because he lives in a certain part of Dalkeith that is to be covered by another school. The many friends Jack has made in the last year will still head to the primary school they expected to go to - while the wee man will have to start all over again at a new primary school. A new school, new teachers, new schoolmates.

Daughter Laura will try and persuade the education people at the council to change the rules to let her son go to the primary school she wants - but she's not holding her breath. As is the norm with Midlothian Council there are consultation meetings and questionnaires to the parents asking for their opinions - but these tend to be token gestures. I suspect decisions have already been made.

One of the reasons I no longer work for Midlothian Council is because when I was there they were an utter shambles. When Laura and Michaela were at school not so many years ago, I was regularly locking horns with the education section. There was one occasion when St. David’s High School telephoned me at the office to advise that Michaela had not turned up for school. My heart sank as she had left the house in the morning as usual. I tried unsuccessfully to contact Mrs Smith and spent an uneasy couple of hours before the school phoned me back to say they had made a mistake - Michaela was there as usual. My opinion of St. David’s High School had never been high in any case - that day it sank to a new low. It sank further still when I received a report card for Michaela with her English teacher writing the words ‘Michelle lacks attention to detail…’ St. David’s High School was, occasionally, comedy gold.

However, this latest wheeze isn't funny. Starting school for the first time can be quite daunting for a child. Until today it wasn't something Laura or Jack were concerned about, given his progress at nursery this year. Now, it's a different matter.

As someone once said 'that's another fine mess you've gotten me into...'

World Cup Notice

The authorities in South Africa have just issued this quite useful guide to those who may not be aware the footy is about to start....


Dear Wife/Sweetheart/Girl Friend/Partner/whoever it may concern,

1. Between 11 June and 11 July 2010, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup of Soccer and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. Therefore, DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will run the risk of our relationship ending.

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game I won't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor....it just won't happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please - if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it's only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time"". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during half-time but only when the commercials are on, and only if the half time score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game ; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them, I want to see them again, many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my
attendance because:

a) I will not go,

b) I will not go, and

c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch?" because the reply will be, "Refer to Rule 2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words because before and after this comes the Champions League, SPL, Scottish Cup, Premier League, Italian League....


Thank you for your cooperation.