Olympic News

Sadly, there is some bad news for Team GB at the Olympics in Beijing. The widely fancied carpet-fitting team, from Glasgow, have been sensationally kicked out for using stair rods.


Glasgow girl competing in the Olympics who told her pal in the Olympic village: "I think I'm pregnant."

"Have you had a check-up?" asked her pal.

"No, a Greek," she said.


A Scots competitor in the track and field asking a chap with a pole: "Are you a pole-vaulter?"

Altogether now: "No, I'm German. But how did you know my name was Walter?"

Three Scottish workers who had been building the stadium didn't have tickets for the opening ceremony, but the first grabbed a length of scaffolding they were dismantling and confidently strolled into the athletes' village telling security guards he was a British pole vaulter.

The second grabbed a sledge hammer at the construction site and breezed in telling everyone he was competing in the hammer throw.

Alas, the third came a cropper when he grabbed a roll of barbed wire at the site and told security he was competing in the fencing.


See what happens when you have three days off work?