Valerie

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late 40s or early 50s.

“May I help you?” she asked.

“I want to see Valerie,” the man replied.

“Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else,” said the madam.

“No. I must see Valerie,” was the man's reply.

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man that she charged £5,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five hundred ten pound notes and gave them to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the same man appeared again, demanding to see Valerie. Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row – too expensive – and there were no discounts. The price was still £5,000. Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for the third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs. After their session, Valerie questioned the man.

“No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?” she asked.

The man replied, “Edinburgh.”

“Really,” she said, “I have family in Edinburgh.”

“I know,” the man said. “Your father died, and I am your sister's lawyer. She asked me to give you your £15,000 inheritance.”

The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:

1. Death

2. Taxes

3. Being screwed by a lawyer