How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a film, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs...
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialised?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And...why are you reading this and nodding in agreement?
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4 comments:
Because we are like sheep - oops I forgot where I was for a moment....
Liked this post a lot - and I will have you know that I personally love burnt toast and need that setting on the toaster ---I know burnt anything apparently causes cancer but sometimes a girl has to live a little on the edge...
As for the other questions I think I would need to sit down over a few glasses of something decicious to get into a relaxed state where the brain is well lubricated and the answers may come more easily.
I am nodding, especially at climbing high to use binoculars! :)
It would be difficult to get pizza out of a round box, other than by turning it upside down; a risky manoeuvre, from what I hear.
I think 'assassination' only applies to those who hold public office.
I don't know the answer to any of the others. I'll ask around.
"Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?"
For bread that's been in the freezer, I'd imagine.
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