A Matter of Coming to Terms

All these restraints on shopping are proving too much for young Daniel

Life is very different for all of us this year. When I last posted on this blog at the beginning of this year the coronavirus was just beginning to wreak its deadly path across the globe. Now, three months later, the pandemic has caused thousands of deaths, inflicted grief on families and loved ones and enforced a lockdown across the world, the likes of which most of us have never experienced before.

These are very difficult times for everyone. Around a month ago I experienced some of the symptoms of the virus. Rapidly changing temperature, bad headache, aches and pains and feeling extremely tired. Although I wasn't tested I took the Scottish government's advice and self-isolated. After a few days I felt better although I still have a persistent (and highly irritating) cough which, I'm told, can last for up to six weeks. Other than that I feel physically fine now although, like everyone else, my mental health has taken a battering as a result of having to stay in my house.

I haven't seen my daughters or grandchildren for about five weeks now and, whisper it, I miss them badly. I do the WhatsApp video call thing so I can see and talk to them and their monosyllabic replies to my enquiring of their well being - Jack, Hannah and Ava all replied 'good' - notwithstanding it's good to seem them albeit on a small screen on my phone. But it's not the same.

Mrs Wife and I were due to visit her brother in Morecambe this weekend to celebrate his birthday but, of course, that has had to be cancelled. We hope to visit later this year once this is all over. And there's the crux to the anxiety felt by all.

No one knows when this crisis is going to end. If we knew the lockdown would end, say, in July we could plan ahead and look to the future. But no one knows. In parts of China, where the virus originated towards the end of last year, a very measured and scaled cessation to the lockdown has begun, more than three months since it began. It's difficult to know whether this is the yardstick to measure in this country or, indeed, whether the partial end to the lockdown will be effective. One can only hope.

It's difficult to remain positive during these troubled times. The other evening I wrote on a blank A4 sheet of paper the positives and negatives. The negatives seemed endless. Not seeing my family; not being able to travel anywhere; no sport (although the way Hearts have played this season that's not necessarily a bad thing...); no meeting pals for a pint or three; no hypnotherapy clients meaning my business is presently on hold.

But on the other side of this sheet of paper I thought about the positives. My first thought was how the hell can there be any positives to take from this crisis? Then I began to scribble a few musings. After having the symptoms a few weeks back I now feel fine (cough aside) and I am truly grateful for this. My wife Marion has not, so far, succumbed to the disease and for this I am even more grateful. My daughters and youngest grandchild have also had symptoms but are fine now. Again, my gratitude for this knows no bounds. My elderly mother, presently in a great deal of pain as she awaits her hip replacement operation, is also reasonably well. Being 83 years old she has been told to stay at home for three months meaning it's down to me to deliver her essentials  - food and medication - to her. Normally this might seem a minor inconvenience to me (a reflection on my selfishness perhaps) but now I see this as an opportunity to leave the house, albeit for less than an hour, and a chance to breathe fresh air.

Although my hypnotherapy business has been silenced, my other job as an HR professional (no laughing at the back...) continues and I can work at home for this. While I miss the office banter and the boundary between home and working life has been crossed, sometimes uncomfortably, modern technology means I can continue to do the work I would have done in the office in my bedroom. When I think of the impact this crisis has had on businesses and their employees the world over I am yet again grateful that, financially at least, there is no impact on the Smith household. While Marion is also working from home, our arrangement works fine - apart from the odd spat about who has eaten the last chocolate digestive...(and, for the avoidance of doubt, it's never me...)

As the brilliant singer/songwriter Pete Wylie once sang it's about coming to terms with the situation you're in. Times are really tough right now, particularly for those families affected by the virus, for those who have lost loved ones and for those in the NHS whose exceptional hard work and dedication is a lesson in compassion for us all.

But we can look forward to better times. A time without constraints. A time when we can perhaps appreciate a little more of what's really important in life. True, we don't know when. But these days will return.

I'm counting the days until they do. Stay safe everyone.