Hotel Mexico

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Being a Friend

Thank you for being a friend
Travelled down a road and back again
Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant
I'm not ashamed to say
I hope it always will stay this way
My hat is off, won't you stand up and take a bow

Andrew Gold had a hit with that song many moons ago and, yes, it's one of the more cheesy ditties around. He also had a hit with Lonely Boy so I suspect he was trying to tell us something...

But in an increasingly busy and, it has to be said as the world's economy collapses like a deck of cards, despondent life, the importance of friendship can not be underestimated. The definition of friendship would appear to be changing in this technological age. In years gone by people would grow up together as schoolfriends, neighbours, colleagues and be physically there to provide support during times of trouble and to share happiness when joyful times came. Now the world is a much smaller place and friendship doesn't have to mean actually being there in person - the age of the internet, e-mail and mobile phone can bring someone hundreds, even thousands of miles away close to you. And that person can share your inner thoughts and feelings and give support even from afar.

I'm no different from anyone else in that I've got to know many people over the years. A good many of them have came into my life and enhanced it but have drifted away again. True friends, however, keep in touch, keep in regular contact. They ask how you are, they ask how your family is, they take a genuine interest in what you're up to. They do so because they care - and I care about them. These are the people who mean most to me, the ones who if they disappeared from my life for whatever reason would leave an empty space that may never be filled.

And to those people, my pals, my confidants, I'm aware I don't say it as often as I should. But - thank you for being a friend.

Back in God's Hands

I looked at your face I saw that all the love had died
I saw that we had forgotten to take the time
I saw that you couldn't care less about what you do
Couldn't care less about the lies

You couldn't find the time to cry
We forgot about love
We forgot about faith
We forgot about trust
We forgot about us

Now our love's floating out the window
Our love's floating out the back door
Our love's floating up in the sky in heaven
Where it began back in God's hands

You said that you had said all that you had to say
You said baby it's the end of the day
And we gave a lot but it wasn't enough
We got so tired that we just gave up

We didn't respect it
We went and neglected it
We didn't deserve it
But I never expected this
Our love floated out the window
Our love floated out the back door
Our love floated up in the sky to heaven

It's part of a plan
It's back in God's hands

Jeezo...

Doner kebabs sold in the UK contain "shocking" levels of salt, fat and calories, a survey has concluded. Officers from 76 councils sampled 494 kebabs to test their nutritional value, during the Local Authority Coordinators of Regulatory Services (Lacors) study. The average doner they tested contained almost 1,000 calories - half a woman's recommended daily intake.

Geoffrey Theobald, of Lacors, said: "The level of saturated fat and salt in some is a serious cause for concern."

From the BBC News Website

I'm assuming that, like almost everything else, kebabs in moderation can't do you much harm. Who hasn't devoured one on the way home after a few beers and when the world seems a better place? But, shock, horror, too many kebabs are apparently bad for you as they contain too much fat and salt. Well, knock me down with a nan bread.

In other news....bears believed to defecate the woods, Pope understood to have a balcony, tramworks in Edinburgh may cause slight annoyance to locals...

Remembering

Today, my father would have celebrated (or rather he would have tried to hide the fact) his 70th birthday. He would have - had he not been taken away suddenly nearly twelve years ago from those who loved him.

Everyone goes through the trauma of losing someone they love at some point in their life. When that person dies suddenly - in my father's case it was a heart attack - the shock of what has happened can numb those left behind. I went into automatic pilot when my father's body was discovered in the flat he lived in Paisley in March 1997. So much to do, so many people to tell, the funeral to organise, personal matters to see to. My father ran his own small business so that also had to be attended to. Clearing his answerphone at his office damn near broke me in two.

But while you never 'get over' such tragedy you do learn, in time, to cope with it. When I look at my two grandchildren Jack and Hannah climbing all over me and causing general chaos as young children do, I know that my father would have been as proud as punch of them. He doted on my two daughters, Laura and Michaela (the above photograph shows him and Laura when she was three years old) and it is one of my life's regrets that he died several years before his great-grandchildren came along.

So today I shall raise a glass to my old man and say 'cheers' to his memory. I'll have a wee natter with him in private when no one else is around. He always was a good listener...

The Skiver's Charter?

Employees are entitled to accrue holiday pay while on sick leave and can carry that leave over into another year if they are too ill to take it, the European Court of Justice (ECJ) has ruled. Individuals may also be able to claim for annual leave payments dating back more than 10 years, to when the Working Time Directive was first introduced, if their sickness absence had meant they were unable to take holiday, and hadn't already claimed benefits from their employer.

The case will now return to the House of Lords in the UK for a final hearing, expected to take place later this year.

From Personnel Today

As someone who works in the veritable minefield that is Human Resources, the above news is as welcome as George W. Bush returning to the White House.

Sickness absence already costs businesses in the UK millions of pounds every year. Now there are some genuine sickness cases where people are really ill and need the support of their employer. I have been involved in numerous such cases over the years both in the private and public sector and it can be an important part of someones recovery to know not only will they have a job to return to but that their employer has support mechanisms in place which makes that employee feel valued.

On the other side of the coin are those people who - to use a Scottish HR term - are 'at it'. I used to work for a local authority and believe me sickness absence was rife - and some of it was genuine. Some people believe sickness absence is an 'entitlement' and have no qualms about 'throwing a sickie'. Had a few too many pints on a Sunday night? Ach, just take Monday off. Got two jobs and too knackered to go in tomorrow morning? Just go back under the duvet. Fancy a week in the sun but not allowed to take annual leave at short notice? Self certify for seven days - that should do it.

In my part of the world it is extraordinarily easy to get a medical certificate from a General Practitioner. Feeling a bit down? Sounds like depression - here's a line for a fortnight. Bit of a twinge in your back? Take plenty of rest - here's a line for ten days. Unable to get off your fat arse? Aye, it's a viral thing - here's a line for three weeks. If you need another just come back and see me.

So the good old European Court of Justice has now given those 'at it' even more reasons to throw a multitude of sickies. Aye, off you go - you'll get your annual leave whenever you decide to bother going back to work. Which in many long term cases is when they move on to half pay.

Times are tough for industry. Thanks to the European Court of Justice's proposed Skiver's Charter, things may get even tougher...

The Mating Game

Easytoplease Computing Dating Agency

Name………………………………......................................

Address………………………………..................................

Date of Birth………………………………..........................

Male/Female……………………………….........................

Introductory Section

1) Would you prefer your partner to be:

a) the opposite sex
b) the same sex
c) both
d) any sort of mammal
e) not fussy really

2) Would you prefer your partner to be:

a) alive
b) dead
c) dead but still warm
d) doesn’t matter

3) How many legs should your ideal partner have:

a) two as a bare minimum
b) one
c) none
d) doesn’t matter

4) In the event of Easytoplease Computing Dating Agency being unable to match you with your ideal partner, which of the following would you be prepared to make do with:

a) a milk bottle
b) a bar of soap and a radiator
c) not fussy really - anything will do


Now, more detailed information:

Before sex do you:

Crack your knuckles?
Roll up your sleeves?
Crouch down on starting blocks?
Give your little brother a Cadbury’s Cream Egg?
Smother your body in ‘Vick’?


During Sex Do You:

Blow your nose?
Play a harmonica?
Smoke a pipe?
Think about camels?
Whistle?
Wear Ear Muffs?
Talk about the drought in Somalia?


After Sex Do You:

Get up and go home?
Put a notch on the headboard?
Turn up the sound on the television?
Break wind?
Notice a difference between your two big toes?
Finish your toast?

Men: If you answered yes to each of those questions, I’m afraid you are a lousy lover and the Easytoplease Computing Dating Agency is unable to help you.

Women: If you answered yes to each of those questions, I’m afraid you are a lousy lover and the Easytoplease Computing Dating Agency is unable to help you.

However,if you two ever get together would you mind if Easytoplease Computing Dating Agency came along to watch?