Tree Hugging Hippies

'Don't you care about saving the planet?' someone asked me the other day.

'To be frank' I snarled, 'at this moment in time I have more important issues to consider'

'Oh?' came the condascending retort, 'What could be more important than saving the world for your grandchildren?'

'Well, let me think. My daughter's fiance has just died, she's about to be made redundant from a job she loves, my other daughter is unwell, my granddaughter fell down the stairs today and had to be taken to hospital (a little concussion apart she appears fine thankfully) and my mother thinks she's suffering from depression (she supports Aberdeen FC so she may well be right). So please excuse me if I don't walk half a mile in the pouring rain to put the last issue of Private Eye in the recycling bin...

A colleague of mine describes environmentalists as 'tree-hugging hippies' And, to be fair, I think he has a point. If they want to recycle every inordinate bloody object in order to save the world then good luck to them. But what irritates me is the fact they ram their principles down everybody's throat. To them if you don't try to save the planet at every opportunity you're the devil in disguise. From recycling newspapers, rubbish, teabags (compost caddies anyone?) plastic, glass and dog excrement (okay, I made that one up) to switching off computer monitors, printers, televisions, mobile phones at night, it seems if you don't do any of these then you'll be condemned and sent straight to the depths of hell when you shuffle off this mortal coil.

Those tree-hugging hippies ruin everything. What are they fighting for anyway? Why would should I care if there are baby seals or drowning polar bears? Stuff the ice shelves. I don't use them. And what about litter? Why should I care if the streets I walk down or live on are lined with rubbish? I mean, it is someone else's, not mine. I put all of my rubbish in one wheelie bin. I don't recycle either. Why waste my energy on sorting things out? Getting back to those bloody trees, why do I need them? They just block the view I have of the concrete heaven that people call a jungle. I say give me more pavement and miles of it. Asphalt is quite good to look at, really.

I hate when those people who think they are so much smarter than me tell me that air can get polluted by me having a barbecue or that having my television on standby overnight will cause an ice cap to melt. They think they know more than I do. I went to school. Okay, I didn't pay attention much but I went....

Rather than having a go at me for not switching my monitor off why not tackle the likes of China's environmental record? Or the good old US of A?

As for saving the planet for my grandchildren, I've got to ask, given the state of society these days, will the planet be worth saving for Jack and Hannah twenty years from now? Greed, ill-discipline and a lack of moral fibre are prevalent now - one can only shudder at the prospect two decades hence. Rather like the polar ice caps, everyday values such as respect, decency and looking out for each other are being eroded.

But it seems to me there are precious few who want to save them...