Monday, 3 August 2009

Ode to a Runaway Haggis


A haggis recipe was published in an English book almost two hundred years before any evidence of the dish in Scotland, a historian has claimed. Historian Catherine Brown said she found references to the dish inside a 1615 book called The English Hus-Wife. The title would pre-date Robert Burns' poem To A Haggis, which brought fame to the delicacy, by at least 171 years. But former world champion haggis maker Robert Patrick insisted: "Nobody's going to believe it."

From the BBC News Website.

Too right, Mr Patrick. Would an Englishman be able to pen these words?

ODE TO A RUNAWAY HAGGIS

Ye slippery, sliddery hunk o’ mait,
Ye’ve gan an’ slippet aff ma plait,
Ye’ve made me look sae bloody blate in front o’ a’
Weel wid I like tae spread yir guts a’ o’er that wa

The piper there, a sturdy chiel
Wis blawin’ loud an’ strong an’ weel,
Ye made HIM look a bloody feel, ye senseless ba’’
Ye micht hae picked a better time for yir doonfa’.

Ye graceless, shapeless, loathesome lump,
Ye made me look a proper chump,
Intil the bucket you I’ll dump, I’ll nae forgie,
I’ll tramp ye ‘til the flair runs wiyir bree,

I’ll spread yir entrails far an’ wide,
There’s nae place for ye tae hide,
Nae mair frae aff the plait ye’ll glide, ye nasty scunner,
A thing like you’ll nae mak o’ me a nine day wunner.
Jeez, the spellchecker on my computer's just packed in...

6 comments:

Strawberry Girl said...

LOL, yeah, I suppose spell check wouldn't appreciate the poem at all! It is an amusing piece though. We joke about Haggis up at my parents. That's because of the Scotish heritage,(or is it? as you imply in the first part of your post). My mom especially is fascinated with Scotland, she really wants to go there. Reads books with a Scotish theme... she knows quite a few traditions (and so do I) ;D In fact I bought a book a couple of years ago called "The Scotish Thistle," the author spent time with the Camerons and the book has the family as part of the characters, so it was fun to read. I like all you Scotsmen... (can you tell);D

SG

Unknown said...

Hmm, an English hus-wife... Would that be where they got "hussy" from?

Adullamite said...

"Here's tae us!
Wha's like us?
Gey few,
And their a' deid!"



(Typical English, claiming what is ours as theirs! The Welsh, of all people, have actually made a whisky! Jings, crivvens, help ma boab!)

Anonymous said...

the actual recipe is not really the haggis that we know though..
the english will be claiming the deep-fried mars bar next..

Lilly said...

Oh I read that, mmm that won't go down well will it.

I loved Haggis and had it a lot when I lived in Scotland UNTIL someone had to describe in detail it's contents. That was the end of that. I would rather not know what I am eating. I know I like being in denial about a lot of things in life.

I wanted to try a deep fried mars bar and pizza too but though I may have a heart attack on the spot so decided against it.

1st Lady said...

I read this poem, it's about men.. isnt it?

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