1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run - - anywhere.
4 People call at 9 pm and ask, "Did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4 pm.
9. You can live without sex - but not your glasses.
10 You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
14 You sing along with elevator music.
15. Your eyes won't get much worse.
16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
20. You can't remember who sent you this list
4 comments:
Tis sad but true...sigh. Oh by the way, is that a new picture of you? I didn't realize you had grown a beard. ha ha ha.
Aye - that's me on a good day...
Aaah, so much to look forward to. Disappointingly there's no mention of it now being acceptable to wear plastic rainhoods in public though.
Oh no, 1st Lady, I think we should wait for the plastic rainhoods until we are at least 80 years old...we must try to resist. I know I'm getting older (I had a heart attack today when I brushed my hair aside and some grey hairs had multiplied - it was very traumatic)but I plan to fight it as much as possible. Now where is my Reader's Digest Magazine and big glass of prune juice.
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