Thursday 27 November 2008

Letter to America

To our American cousins:

I don't want to celebrate Thanksgiving as this is an American celebration and means sweet Fanny Adams to me.

I don't want to purchase Viagra or any other sexual health-enhancing drugs.

I won't be thinking of others 'during the forthcoming holidays'. If I were a religious person I would doubtless celebrate Christmas; but I'm not so I won't.

I will not be participating in on-line surveys for American companies I have never heard of.

I do not want daily bulletins on celebrity news on tinpot Americans I have never heard of. Or any Z list 'celebs' come to think of it.

I do not want cheap personal loans.

I do not want to receive 'hot financial advice' on how to make my dollars work for me. I have no dollars in my possession, never have and, unless I actually visit the States, never will.

I have no interest in purchasing the latest Chevy Malibu - I prefer to sit in the passenger seat of life.

I do not want to hear about the latest 'movie' news. In this country they're called films until such time as we become the 51st State of America.

A time, I fear, which may not be far off....

5 comments:

MrsAshleyPascal said...

Hmmmmmmmmmm......


Melissa

Mike Smith said...

Hi Melissa - hope you are well.

MrsAshleyPascal said...

Doing well mate, thanks. Hoping you and your family have a great weekend and our Jambos win.

Melissa

1st Lady said...

Im having Thanksgiving tonight, will I save you some of my sweet potato and marshamallow pie? I do like this celebration, November seems a little boring without.

It's Black Friday today too, that's an experience in itself.

Colin Campbell said...

Thanksgiving holiday was one of a relatively short list of things that I really liked about America when I lived there.

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