Sunday 19 October 2008

Sign of the Times Part 94...


It's either my fortysomething status or another sign of the increasingly frustrating times we live in. Or perhaps both.

On the one hand there are the all too familiar signs of Britain dumbing down. Having had difficulty sleeping recently I was browsing various sleep assistance medicines in a pharmacist's yesterday. The makers of Nytol have clearly thought long and hard about how not to induce confusion among potential customers by having a half moon and dark sky on its packaging - just in case poor Joe Public didn't get the gist of the name of the product. Reassuringly there's a statement on the side of the box - may cause drowsiness. Now call me pedantic but if I purchased Nytol and it didn't cause me drowsiness, I would be inclined to sue the makers under the Trades Description Act. On the way home I purchased a packet of KP peanuts. A fine product, I may say, considerably enhanced by the declaration on the packet 'Contains Nuts', Thanks for the warning, fellas...


On the other hand there's some packaging designed to make it as difficult as possible to get into the product. Cartons of milk are the prime culprits. Trying to open one without the use of a Samurai sword or without spilling half the contents on to the kitchen floor is a challenge worthy of The Krypton Factor. A relatively simple task of opening a packet of Cheddars biscuits whilst settling down to watch Match of the Day last night resulted in a substantial increase in my blood pressure, the uttering of several oaths some of which rhymed with 'no luck' and the scattering of said biscuits into thousands of pieces on the living room floor.


I had also purchased a toy for grandson Jack which was cheap but far from cheerful when it came to opening it up. The toy is encased in reinforced plastic for which ordinary scissors are no match. Even a carving knife was making little impact. Eventually, with lacerations to several fingers later, I borrowed my neighbour's industrial saw to open it up. What I'll do with the remnants of the plastic packaging is anyone's guess - the chances of Midlothian's ever helpful refuse collectors taking it away without complaint are on a par with a Hearts victory at Easter Road this afternoon...


In the balance of fairness I should perhaps point out that not all packaging is designed to frustrate. As the above photo shows, Ainsley Harriot's sausages have cooking instructions that are straight to the point....

3 comments:

Lilly said...

Hi there Mike, thanks for visiting my blog. Strangely I used to live in Edinburgh for a few years and go to a few football matches too! As another over 40 something person I can tell you it has nothing to do with our advancing years. Great post, made me laugh. And YES, YES, YES I know what you mean about the milk! In fact most packets of anything are the same. I think its God's way of telling us to give up anyting artifical and packaged and go milk a cow instead! I will be back!

Mike Smith said...

Thanks, Lilly - haste ye back!

Colin Campbell said...

So true. I loved the "contains nuts" bit. They must have thought long and hard about that one.

I think that it would be a bit much to get up on a hungover Sunday and have to stare at Ainsley Harriott. He is just a little too enthusiastic for my liking.

Do the sausages have a warning not to eat raw and that they may get hot when cooked?

Carry on and remember if any of that stuff is wrong or the warnings not complete, you may be able to sue and retire in luxury.

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